The Good, The Bad and The TBD

There's been a ton of stuff going on and I'm dead tired right now, 6am and one hour to go until this graveyard shift has ended, so I'll most likely forget half the stuff I've been processing since I got back to California. So I'll break it up into these three easy sections and tackle it a bit at a time.

The Good

1. Killing days had gotten so gd boring that work was the greatest relief of all and despite the aforementioned present exhaustion, work almost feels like a vacation. And at the end of the vacation week I get a fat paycheck. This is glorious.

2. *Pushes glasses up nose, enabling geek mode* I'll admit that killing days had recently become easier when I got the Entropia Universe successfully reloaded on my laptop and could blissfully spend all of my free time in a virtual universe far far away. The they revamped the space station and day 1 I made an easy $200. I love technology, I love video games and I love anything that has stakes. If I'm going to invest time and money into something I am comforted knowing that there will be something that comes of it. This is why I can no longer waste time with platform games. *Geek mode off*

3. Saw D and Christian for the first time in a long time and realized that most of the people I regard as very close friends I don't miss, I just fall right back into comfortable mode with them when I see them and all's well. But with these two there was an elation that is truly special and heart warming during these little reunions. Makes me extra happier to be back on the west coast.

4. Indianapolis Colts still undefeated and my fantasy football team rolling into the playoffs #1. Sights clearly set on prize money and aiming for a glorious head shot.

5. No longer 115 degrees in the valley.

Hmmmmmmm The Bad

1. Work is located in the middle of the desert and it is damned cold at night. And the wind blows all the time as soon as it gets dark. And it gets dark an hour before I get here and gets light right around the time I'll be trying to get some sleep. Methinks I'll have some heavy bags under me eyes before this is all said and done. On thebright side, I have never successfully lasted through a night shift and I'm fifty minutes away, counting on y'all to help me pull through. That's right, I said y'all, work is also located on a horse ranch so it's obligatory.

2. Running = pain. My knee is f'ed in the a and I don't know if I banged it at work or after a night out drinking. Its lovely too cause right around the three mile mark that I'm trying to routinely break a glorious white hot ball of fire starts to ping from my knee to the middle of my shin and then back, and I start to do the nervous giggle that I always do when I get hurt. Then I get mad because the nervous giggle is ridiculous and a preposterous reaction to excruciating pain. I am at constant war with myself :)

3. Most of the tv shows I watch are the worst things on television because I am obsessed with why the hell they are on television in the first place. And I am doubly annoyed because I know most of them have good ratings and I think there are a lot of guardians of stupid children out there allowing said children to unfairly sway the Nielson ratings into tricking network execs into ordering more episodes of these awful shows. It is a vicious vicious cycle.

4. Getting screwed out of mucho dinero on my tax returns and now having to jump through flaming hoops to get it back. Like I don't have anything better to do then talk to smarmy government officials and try to figure out why I'm being audited for '07 when I had to pay. Do you really want more money from me? Ain't got it, too irresponsible with it ;)

And The TBD

Now I'm drawing a blank. I think Imight have lumped most of the TBD stuff into The Good and The Bad. Which means I was done processing it apparently. Funny, I wish my mind would shoot into auto pilot like that more often and solve problems that I'd been puzzling over. Its like having a super handy assistant that does everything for you and you just get a post-it saying its done and all's good. Oh, oh!

1. Moving at the end of the year and for some reason desiring to become a resident in a seedy motel. I suspect that now that I have crawled out of my shell I'm trying to turn myselfinto a movie character. Damned if I know which one but there is something interesting to me about becoming a full-time resident at, like, a $30 a night hotel. Need to check into this.

2. End of Mad Men season 2, I think in episode 10, Don Draper says the following, and I quote: "I have been watching my life, scratching at it, trying to get into it. But I can't." As soon as he said it I felt it applied to me 100% and then tried to put my finger on why but it's been elusive. The character of Don Draper has the world cupped in the palm of his hand, a perfect life. But he is not happy. I have never been able to tell if I am ever happy or not. Sure there are timeswhen I am very content, there are people who, when I am with them, I am very happy. But if I am by myself, no really doing anything, I wonder if I am happy. This character with his perfect life and job and family, his fairy tale rise from nothing to being the king of the New York advertising world feels like a dog. This requires a lot more pondering and I wonder if every time I hear the quote I'm just at a moment where I'm doing nothing, killing time, or just bored and wondering if I'm living my life to the fullest. Which I'm usually not, I'll be the first to admit. Past failures have left me very guarded about what I do and the circumstances under which I'll do them. There'll be more on this in the future, probably spurred on by an epiphany caused by the soothing sensations of the magic fingers action of the bed in my seedy motel room. It's going to double the number of quarters I use in a month, which is surprisingly high due to strip club pool sharking. Oh snap, and laundary! I'll have to refactor my monthly budget.

Even in the midst of some of these weightier questions I am in fantastic high spirits as I walk around this massive property, freezing and trying to suss out sounds in the darkness to make sure I don't get gotten at by the coyotes and the mountain lions. I still firmly believe that nothing will ever happen to me that I won't be able to deftly maneuver through. The young, good looking and intelligent theory is one that I am starting to hang my hat on regularly :)

And now I'm down to 27 minutes and it's no longer pitch black or freezing. And this little wander through my headspace has given me my second wind. Time to pack up and make my presence here a fleeting memory for the moment and I'm not even going to edit. Enjoy folks, warts and all.

In the words of #6 - Be seein' you ;)